Things don’t always look the way we hoped they would.

I didn’t plan to miss out on getting our Christmas tree this year.  Our annual tradition includes loading up the entire family and driving to a tree farm.  Then we scour the grounds until we find our favorite,  taking pictures that will be used on future Christmas cards.  The kids take turns wielding the borrowed, rusty orange saw to the trunk of the tree and then we drag it across the lot back to our vehicle.

Things don’t look the way they usually do this time of year.

Normally we would haul the tree home and my husband would get it up right away.  Then I would string soft white lights throughout and the kids would join me as we sift through boxes filled with old memories and decorations alike.  Vince Guaraldi, Michael Buble and Diana Krall would greet us like old friends.

Lastly, we would gather around the lights of the tree, snacks and bubbly in hand, as we recalled past Christmas memories, laughing at some and experiencing a twinge of loss at others.

None of that happened this year.  Instead, I am on the couch with a back injury that is keeping me from doing anything.  My husband and daughter found a tree that now stands in the corner, sad and dark.  The decoration boxes filling an already messy living room, taunting me do something about it.

Things don’t look the way I had hoped they would.

Life is hard sometimes.  Many people are dealing with far greater disappointments than just missing out on a family Christmas tradition.  I have friends and family who are bracing themselves for this holiday season, white knuckling their way through the festivities while in the onset stage of grieving a spouse.

Life is hard and things don’t look the way we thought they would.  This is true.  And yet at the same time there is another truth, God is always with us.

Emmanuel.

It’s not just a name we use at Christmas time to reference God.  He is our salvation, our comfort and our strength. His plan from the very beginning was to be in relationship with us.  When mankind sinned He sent His son in the form of a baby to be with us.  And when Jesus left this earth and ascended into heaven, he sent Holy Spirit to be with us. He has always wanted to be with us.

Emmanuel, God with us.

God with us in our grief.

God with us in our confusion.

God with us in our pain.

God with us in our difficult circumstance.

God with us in our brokenness.

What a gift His presence is to us.  To know that in every situation, at every stage of life, He is with us.  He cares deeply about us and wants to spend time with us daily.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (NLT) Psalm 34:18

The Contemporary English Version says it like this “The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.”

Is this you today?  Are you feeling discouraged?  Do you feel as if you’ve given up hope? I encourage you to focus on the first part of that verse:  the Lord is here to rescue… He is close to the broken-hearted.  It’s in His nature and part of His character to rescue, to encourage and to restore hope.  Invite Him into the grief, the loneliness and the messiness of your life.  He wants to be with us in all of it.  He is our Emmanuel and His presence in our lives is the greatest gift of all.

Easter Sunday, after church, we gathered with family and friends to celebrate and eat a meal together.  My daughter was carrying in a family favorite dessert, chocolate chip bundt cake, which was sitting on a new green pedestal cake server.  As she went to set it down on the granite counter, she kind of misjudged the height and knocked the base against the front of the countertop, then corrected it.  Suddenly she turned to me and with tears in her eyes said, “It broke!” I looked to see what had happened and there was a long fracture line that cut the dish in half…and there was blood.  The fractured bottom had sliced into her hand and caused a decent size cut.

It was a little frantic then, getting Hannah into the bathroom to wash the wound and elevate it, making sure we could save the dessert and then driving to the store to get some butterfly band aids.

I felt panicky trying to find the bandages quickly and get back to my daughter.  I could feel my heart begin to become anxious.  If worse came to worse, the reality was that she would need stitches.  Really not the end of the world.  But it’s hard to get your mind to think clearly when your heart is aching.

There is something about seeing our kids in pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, that just kind of tears at our hearts and can sometimes cloud our judgement.

When I got back to the house she was doing fine.  My husband had determined that no stitches were necessary. Although it should be noted that there has yet to be a time when he has ever felt that stitches were necessary.

Later that afternoon, I was outside laying on a blanket in our backyard, soaking up the beautiful sunshine.  I was just watching the clouds roll by overhead, reflecting on the day, when I had a quiet thought that I have learned to recognize as from the Holy Spirit.

The love that we have for our kids is so deep.  My life and my prayers are directed toward my three children.  My heart is that they would know the depth of the love that God has for them.  I love them so much, and yet God’s love for them is even deeper.

And as I lay there staring up at the sky, I was reminded of the great love that God has for me.  That He has for every single one of us.  Not just for those that love Him back, but for all humanity.  It’s overwhelming really.  And these simple words came to mind, “You can trust me.”

Often times, when my kids are experiencing pain or someone I love is going through something hard, my initial response is to want to make things better. I’m a fixer.  But I realize that in my haste to try to take care of things on my own, often times my actions give away my heart.  I don’t always trust him.

Nobody has ever loved me the way God does.  He willingly sent His son to die for me. Jesus took on the weight of sin and death for me.  The slight ache in my heart for my daughter’s well being is but a shadow of the ache he felt for all humanity as he hung on the cross. His love was so great a sacrifice, that if ever I am tempted to doubt, all I need to do is remember the depth of the love that drove him to the cross. He proved his trustworthiness by giving his life for us.  I can trust him.  You can too.

My family believes strongly in cutting down a real tree for Christmas.  If we had a family manifesto, our stance on this would surely be written in ink.  What is Christmas without the smell of real pine wafting through your house for the entire month of December?  We are those people.  The ones that load up the entire family into the car the weekend after Thanksgiving and head off to a Christmas tree farm in search of the perfect tree.  We trounce through the snow inspecting each one.  Some only get a glance from us, they are too skinny, or too short, or too sparse, and our eyes quickly skip to the next candidate.  Those that, upon quick inspection, meet the basic criteria, are then moved into an elimination round.  When we’ve narrowed it down to our top 2 or 3 trees, we then move into family voting.  Every person gets one vote and whichever tree receives the most votes, wins.

I admit that last year things took a turn for the worse when, after promising our daughter the year before that she could have the final say, my husband went rogue and trumped her tree choice with his veto power.  It took her to the ground in tears and ruined the whole experience for all of us.

Sometimes, in our quest for perfection, we trample down all the joy in the process.

We didn’t go into the tree selection process thinking it would end with Hannah on the ground in tears.  We just wanted the most perfect Christmas tree we could fine.  But somehow, along the way, we experienced tunnel vision and forgot to enjoy the process.

The holidays are full of moments where we try to create perfection.  We want to take the perfect family photo, have a perfectly decorated house and Christmas tree, and we want to make perfect little Christmas cookies with our perfect little kids.  It’s a recipe for disaster.

When we focus more on the “what” (perfect tree) than we do the “who” (our daughter) we miss out.  We need to remind ourselves to look up from what we’re doing and just enjoy the sweet little moments along the way.  The smiles and the giggles are worth way more than a perfectly frosted cookie.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end”. (NLT)

When I find myself in this vortex of perfectionism, and I feel it pulling me in, I have to remind myself that there is beauty in the process. There is beauty in the perfectly imperfect mess of it all. Often times, it’s in the wreckage of our expectations that we find some remarkable moments.

I pray this holiday season would be one where we see the beauty in all that life offers.  From the imperfect family photo to the delicious yet haphazardly decorated cookie, there is beauty to behold in all of it.  I pray that we would find joy in the process, however that may look for us.  I pray that we would be free from the stress and worry that can threaten to drag us under during this busy season and that our homes would resound with a gentle peace.  May our quest for perfection be replaced with a sense of gratitude for what we already have.

A prayer:  Father, You make all things beautiful in Your time.  We give You all of our imperfect messes and trust You with them today.  We release our grasp on trying to make things perfect and open our hands, surrendering it all to You.  Remind us of what is truly important this holiday season and give us a fresh perspective to see all the beauty that today holds.  Thank you Father that You alone are able to give us beauty from the ashes we offer you.  

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Perfection is an idea that once it gets inside of our heads, it is incredibly difficult to get rid of.  How many times have you played out in your mind a perfect scenario?  Whether it’s something as simple as an afternoon where your children actually get along with one another or whether you’re dreaming of the perfect family get together this holiday season.  You know, the one where nobody says anything stupid, where nobody’s feelings get hurt and nobody drinks themselves to the point of oblivion.

Living in the world we do, the idea of peace can sound like something straight out of the pages of a fairy tale.  A lovely little made up word with no real-life substance to it.

We often define peace as an absence of violence, war or strife.  While that is certainly one definition, it may cause acute disappointment when we realize that we will never live in that kind of world.  Recently we witnessed missiles launched at Syria after a chemical attack.  We continue to see gunman all over our country take the lives of innocent people because they are blinded by hate.  Humanity stooped so low that a gunman murdered his grandfather and posted the video to Facebook.  So where does that leave us?  Peace seems to be something far beyond our reach.

But what if peace is less about the absence of something and more about the presence of something.  Or better yet, someone.

Scripture tells us that God is our source of peace.  He is our Yahweh Shalom. (Judges 6:24) As we continue to be in right relationship with God, one of the benefits that we receive is peace.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast (that is committed and focused on You)  because he trusts and takes refuge in you.” (AMP)  According to this scripture, the threat of war or evil has no impact on our peace.  In fact, no outside circumstances have any bearing on the peace that is found in Christ.  As we stay committed and focused on Him, He provides us with His peace that passes all understanding. Paul says in 2 Thessalonians,  “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.”

This is our answer! This is how we can live in a broken and sinful world but also experience peace in the midst of it all.  We keep our mind on God, we place our trust in Him and we take refuge in Him.  The Lord of peace will give us peace at all times and in every way. What an amazing promise.

If we believe this, then peace is available to us in any circumstance.  Whether we are watching the news or reading another article online of the latest violent attack, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.  Whether we are are stressing out because we’re late getting our kid to their holiday concert, or embarrassed that they are showing up in black dress shoes two sizes too big for them, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.  Whether the demands of family and holiday parties threaten to push us to our breaking point or we find ourselves wondering if this will be our last Christmas to celebrate with a loved one, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.

May we remember that our peace isn’t dependent upon our circumstances, but dependent upon our decision to keep our minds steadfast on God.   We can choose peace by choosing to place our focus on Him.

A prayer:  Thank you, God, for the peace that is available to us through You.  You are the Lord of peace and You give us peace at all times and in every way.  We acknowledge that You alone are our source of peace and we ask today that, as we keep our minds steadfast on You, that you would cover us with Your peace that passes all understand. 

Have you ever had a hard time accepting a gift?

Most people would probably say “no,” but there have been a few moments in my life when I’ve been given something so special that it made me slightly uncomfortable.  Whether it’s something tangible or the gift of a compliment, sometimes it’s hard to be the recipient, especially if you feel undeserving.

Honestly, I find accepting help difficult most of the time.  And I’ve talked with countless women who agree that it’s just really hard to accept help from others.

I think it’s because we often correlate “help” with a degree of failure on our part.  Thoughts like, “I should be able to do this on my own.”  Or, “I hate that I can’t handle this myself!” make us reluctant to accept the help that others are willing to give.

And yet Matthew 10:40-42 says this, ““We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God’s messenger. Accepting someone’s help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won’t lose out on a thing.”

In a world where admitting you could use help is frowned upon, we see that God’s kingdom works very differently.  Isn’t His idea of how things should work refreshing? Here we discover that we are all intimately linked together.  We discover that accepting is as important and valued as giving. And we discover that the only way to accomplish all that He’s called us to is by working together, learning the art and the value of both.

There is no failure tied to your acceptance of help.  Rather, there is importance and value threaded into it. Jesus modeled this for us while He was here on Earth.  We see many instances in Scripture of Jesus giving.  He gave of his time, energy and resources.  And yet, we also see him receiving. Jesus received the woman in Bethany who broke her expensive jar of perfume and poured it on His head.  He received the hospitality that Martha offered him and the rapt attention that Mary gave.  He even received Simon’s help as he carried his cross to be crucified.

If our desire is to be a disciple of Christ, then we need a shift in our thinking.  We need God to transform our minds and our hearts.  We need Him to reveal some of the misconceptions that we have regarding receiving help from others.  We need a reminder that we are all in this together and that as we learn the holy rhythm of giving and receiving, we become more like him.

A prayer: Father, make us more like You this holiday season.  Show us the benefit of learning to accept and receive not only from others but also from You.  May we sense the value in linking arms with those around us to get the job done.  It is a large work that you’ve called us to and we each have our own part to play.  Your promise to us is that as we learn this skill, we won’t miss out on a thing.  Thank you, Father, for modeling this concept for us and continue to work it out in our lives in the days ahead.

I have such fond memories of time spent with my dad while I was growing up.  The two of us in his rusty, green pick up truck, heading out to my grandpa’s farm to cut down a tree and bring it home to heat our log house.  My favorite part was when he would signal break time and then proceed to pull out a thermos of hot chocolate and a candy bar to split, usually a Hershey’s chocolate bar with almonds.  We’d sit and enjoy our snack as well as the break from the hum of the chainsaw.  Sometimes we’d chat but usually we just sat there in the silence, enjoying each other’s company and the smell of the crisp air mixed with freshly cut wood shavings.

I am incredibly blessed to still have both my parents living and in really great health.  Now my children get to create sweet memories of lazy days spent on my parent’s dock, catching fish and sipping sun tea in their bare feet in the same place that formed me into the woman I am today.  It honestly makes me ache to think about there ever being a time when I won’t have my father here to invest in my life or to teach my children how to properly clean a fish.  But I know that life is  precious, and his physical presence in my life is not a guarantee.

I’m so thankful that I can depend on the eternal and everlasting presence, love and wisdom of my heavenly Father.  Isaiah 40:28 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.”(NIV)

Even the most amazing fathers will grow tired from time to time.  Just ask my kids.  They will be the first to tell you what a great dad they have but they will also let you know that Sunday afternoons equal dad’s nap time.   After a long weekend of running three church services, their pastor daddy is tired.  He grows weary.

How comforting it is to know that we can rest our cares, our anxious thoughts, our tired hearts, in God’s loving arms.  We can rest in the knowledge that, regardless of how our earthly father feels about us, we are seen, known and loved by the Creator of the universe.  Some of us have had amazing earthly fathers like mine, while others have suffered terribly at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect us.  But regardless of how our earthly fathers have been, we are infinitely loved by our heavenly Father.  He sees us as we are, loves us regardless and desires to have a relationship with us.  And when we accept his love for us, we are held together by a love that is beyond our understanding. A love that does not grow tired or weary.  An everlasting love that comes from an everlasting father.

A prayer:  Thank you, Father, that You are a perfect example of everlasting love.  We come to You today in need of that love.  Take us in Your arms and speak words of comfort and hope over us today.  We grow tired and weary, but You never do.  Renew our strength today as we wait on You.  

Forcing things rarely works.

As a mom of three I’ve tried my hand a time or two at forcing things to happen.  Forced feedings when the kids were younger, as if that one last bite of green beans I shoved into their clenched mouths would somehow push them over the edge into the category of perfect health. Forced quiet time, which usually just resulted in me going into their rooms and reminding them over and over again to be quiet until they would fall dead asleep 5 minutes before we needed to be somewhere.  These days, I find myself forcing my middle child to shower, as though the shower itself is some sort of medieval torture chamber designed to inflict pain upon him.  I do not understand the physical aversion he has for clean water.

I’ve tried forcing my kids to quit fighting, to not pick their nose in public, to brush their teeth, to do their chores, to practice their instruments, the list goes on and on.  I’ve even tried to force fun within our family.  We will do this activity and it will be fun, understood?”

But, as many times as I’ve tried to use force to cause a change in my children’s actions, it’s rarely been successful long term.  Sometimes it works temporarily, but rarely does it stick.

I love the words in Matthew chapter 11 where Jesus asks the question “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?” (MSG)  Every time I read this I find myself answering with a resounding “Yes!”  I think every mom who reads those first two questions feels the same way.  Yes, we’re so very tired, we’re worn out!  But I love how Jesus sneaks that last question in there.  “Are you burned out on religion?”  Why is He following with this question? Because He knows that forcing things, just going through the motions without our hearts being truly connected to it, will never provide the outcome we’re looking for.  Just being religious will never give us the true rest and freedom our souls crave.  Jesus tells us in verse 28-30 “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.”  Have you ever heard anything more alluring in your entire life?

The verse goes on to say, “Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Just reading these words fills my heart with hope.

The freedom that Jesus offers us is found in the unforced rhythms of His grace.  It is found in His presence when we keep company with him.  It’s also something we have to learn; it’s not something that comes naturally.  Honestly, following rules and checking off boxes comes much more easily.  We like to say to ourselves, “There, all done.” while God is saying to us, “Here, just come.”

A prayer:  Father, help us to quit forcing things and to start living freely and lightly in Your unforced rhythms of grace. May we not look to religion to give us rest, but may we recover our lives as we live in relationship with you.  Thank you for Your promise that as we walk with You and work with You, You will show us how that looks.  Our hearts crave the real rest that only comes from You.

The lyrics kept floating through my mind, burrowing a path into my soul.

O come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant. 

Could that include me?  I wish it did, but honestly, I feel more faithless than faithful at the moment.  Joyful and triumphant?  More like depressed and discouraged.  

The holiday season is upon us, and often it feels more overwhelming than we anticipated.  This magical time of the year that we sing about and celebrate is not exempt from heartache and pain.  Whether we are experiencing something difficult or we are carrying the burden of a friend or family member, these feelings seem more pronounced as we layer them over the backdrop of  holiday joy and cheer.

The absence of loved ones can make us feel acutely alone in a room full of people celebrating.  The loss and rejection we’ve experienced throughout the year come sneaking up behind us, trying to take both our joy and our breath away.

And now I have to be faithful, joyful and triumphant? Great, I’ll add that to the list somewhere between making Christmas cookies, buying teacher gifts, and cleaning my house for company.  It all just feels so exhausting!

But maybe we don’t have to have everything perfectly together before we come.  Maybe we don’t have to be faithful or joyful before we come to the feet of Jesus.  Perhaps the offer is extended to the exhausted and the weary as well as the triumphant.  Could it be that all He’s asking of us is just to come? Exactly as we are?

Come to Jesus with your brokenness and your burnt Christmas cookies.  Come to Him in your yoga pants, your old tattered college sweatshirt, your messy ponytail and day two of no shower.  Come with your sink full of dirty dishes and kids screaming and clamoring around you.  Come with your grief.  Come with your loss. Come with your mistakes.  Come to Him wherever you are with whatever you have.

It doesn’t matter how you come, just that you do.

Come behold Him.

Come adore Him.

Come worship Him.

And when we do, we discover that our simple act of obedience, our willingness to come to Jesus, changes everything.  Like an exchange system where we always come out ahead.  We come to Him just as we are, tired and weary, and He gives fresh perspective and renewed strength.  We bring our mistakes and our regrets and He brings His grace.  We come with our striving and He provides rest.

Don’t be afraid to come to Him today,  just as you are.  Bring your heart and let Jesus’ love transform you from the inside out.  Don’t worry about looking or feeling a certain way before you come–He already sees it all and knows it all.  Come to Him just as you are (messy ponytail and all) and you will find that He is faithful to meet you there.

A prayer:  Father, I pray that today we would enter into a holy exchange system with you.  We bring ourselves, and all the mess that comes with it, in exchange for more of You.  More of your love, patience, kindness and peace.  Thank you, Father, that we always come out ahead when we spend time in your presence.  Amen.  

When Aaron and I decided to get married, my parents did something pretty amazing.  They got us a pre-wedding gift.  It wasn’t anything wrapped up in paper and bows.  In fact, it was the kind of gift that caused a few tears and even a little tension between myself and my future mate.  They paid for pre-marital counseling.

When you first fall in love, it’s difficult to imagine ever being supremely disappointed in the other person or imagining that there might be an obstacle that you can’t overcome simply by staring into each other’s eyes.  This of course, is exactly why pre-marriage counseling exists.  To have another person, an outside party, ask you some hard questions and give you the tools you’ll need to prepare for the challenging, and also mundane, days that life will inevitably offer you.

When I think back to the weeks that Aaron and I sat together in a counselor’s office, answering difficult questions, discussing expectations, recounting the family atmosphere and parenting styles we had grown up in, I realize just how important that time and those conversations were.  There were things we shared with each other early on that we probably wouldn’t have offered up on our own.  We made decisions, declarations really, of what was going to be most important to us as a couple and what we were going to value.  We were coming together to strategically set the course for our marriage and, ultimately, for the rest of our lives.

Proverbs 11:14 says, “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” (MSG)

Honestly, who doesn’t want to better their chances?  We all do.  In our marriages, our friendships, our careers, our parenting, our faith journey, our lives, to flourish. 

Notice this verse says “Without good direction…”(emphasis mine).  We don’t just need direction.  We need good direction.  After all, the world is constantly offering up advice as to how we should spend our money, time & resources.  That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.  We don’t need direction from just anybody.  We need good direction & wise counsel. Christian counselors, pastors, and trusted friends are all great sources to receive wise counsel from BUT we have an even greater source to turn to.  We have the Holy Spirit, our ultimate counselor.  According to Isaiah chapter 9, one of God’s names is Wonderful Counselor.

In John, chapter 14:16-17, Jesus promises the Holy Spirit.  “And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.  He is the Holy Spirit who leads into all truth.” Verse 26 says, “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative–that is, the Holy Spirit–he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.”  (NLT) 

Jesus is talking to his disciples in this chapter, preparing them for what is to come.  He knows that he is leaving them soon and that the gift of the Holy Spirit will come.  These verses show us three distinct ways that the Holy Spirit can help us. First, the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth.  Second, he will teach us.  And lastly, he will remind us of everything Jesus has spoken.

Romans 8:26 also says the Holy Spirit helps our weakness.  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit  himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”  (NIV)

He is our wise counsel.  He leads us, teaches us, reminds us and helps in our weakness.

Psalm 73:24 says this, “You will keep on guiding me all my life with your wisdom and counsel.”

Let’s not be people who lose their way. Instead, let’s be people who purposefully determine to ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom.  Today let’s spend a few minutes asking for His divine wisdom in our relationships.  May our marriages, families and friendships become strong and healthy as we trust God’s wise counsel.

A prayer:  Father, thank you for the wise counsel that the Holy Spirit gives.  Thank you that we have someone to turn to when we feel weak and need help.  The leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit is a supernatural gift that we are so thankful for.  May we learn to turn to you first when we are in need of wise counsel.  Amen. 

One of our favorite holiday traditions is one that we stumbled upon without meaning to several years ago.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and we had just finished decorating our Christmas tree (a real one, none of this fake tree business) and I was exhausted from all the work entailed with lugging boxes out of storage and finding enough working white lights to cover an 8 ft. tree.  The kids were hungry and I didn’t have enough time or energy to prepare a real meal so I threw together a cheese & cracker plate.  I pulled out a few veggies and some dip and then warmed up some leftover frozen pizza rolls in the oven.  We had a bottle of Welch’s sparkling grape juice and all together, it made up our dinner that night.

The Christmas lights were twinkling and casting a beautiful golden glow in our living room that none of us wanted to miss. So instead of sitting at our dining table I scoured the dark recesses of my cabinets and found some old holiday paper plates and napkins and we made ourselves a little makeshift picnic right there next to the light of our tree.  We huddled together on the floor around our little repurposed black coffee table and Aaron started sharing favorite Christmas memories. Soon he was asking the kids to share and before we knew it, we realized something special was happening.  It was the beauty of the tree that drew us in but the sharing of our stories that kept us there.  That night was like a wonderful gift hand delivered to us, completely unexpected and somewhat magical.

Now, almost 7 years later, it is one of the traditions we most look forward to.  Every year, the weekend after Thanksgiving, we chop down our tree, drag it home, decorate it and then settle in for appetizers and stories by white lights.

Sometimes the most meaningful things happen without any preparation at all. 

This season is full of planned parties, festivities and menus.  And that’s not bad.  There is a lot to be said for putting thought and detail into something and planning it out ahead of time.  I love to have people in my home when we’ve scheduled it and I have the time to clean my house and plan a great menu.  I love to set a beautiful table and make my guests feel special.  But I have to tell you that some of the most life giving conversations that have taken place in my house, some of the most wonderful memories that have been made, have occurred when friends have dropped by unannounced.  With no expectations and zero preparation on my part.  Holy conversations have been held with crumbs on my counter and dirt on my floor.

In this busy season of scheduled everything, don’t be afraid to rogue once in a while.  To toss a schedule or two to the wind, and to just show up.  Somewhere.  Perhaps for someone.  There is beauty in the unannounced visit.  There is healing in the unexpected word of encouragement.  There is grace for the moment, whether you’ve planned for it or not.

A prayer: Father, teach us to make room in our schedule for you. We ask for your wisdom and guidance in our decisions.  May you use us in unplanned ways to speak love and hope into the lives around us.  May we experience more holy moments in the middle of our days. 

Firstborns are special.

I say that not because I am a firstborn but because of how I felt when I held my first child.

I remember that nervous yet exhilarating feeling of having his tiny little body placed into my arms for the very first time.  He was wrapped up tight in a blanket and I was undone.  The depth of my love for him was so intense and so immediate; it took me by surprise.  Suddenly, and almost without warning, I realized I would do anything for this child of mine.  Not only had I given birth, but something had been birthed inside of me.  A desire to love and protect this little life at any cost.

I imagine that Mary felt the same way.  Although she didn’t have an adjustable bed and big fluffy pillows behind her as she drank in the first few hours of her son’s life, I can imagine she felt those same feelings of intense love and fierce devotion.

Parental love—and fear—is an authentic and tangible universal language.

I can’t help but wonder how Mary managed those fears as she watched her little boy mature into a young man.  I wonder if she lost sleep worrying about him and his future.  I wonder if she ever felt not enough at times, questioning whether she was equipped for the monumental task of motherhood.  All of her time, energy and love poured out into this life that would ultimately lay itself down for us all.

The precious gift she had been given would eventually be a gift for all mankind.  A gift of love, quite literally, as 1 John tells us that “God IS love.”

In our earthly understanding of love, one of our best representations is that between mother and child.  It is bond so strong that it gives us a small glimpse into the immeasurable depth of love that God has for each of us.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 3 that he prays that we will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is.

We serve a God who gives us small daily reminders of that love.  From a child’s laugh to the warmth of a loved one’s hand, these are reflections of His love for us.  As we gather this holiday season with family and friends may we sense, more deeply, the greatness of Christ’s love for us.  May we catch another glimpse of the height and depth of His love and may it secure within us a sense of trust so we can walk in confidence of the love He has, not only for us, but also for the world.

A prayer:  Father, we thank You today for the gift of Your Son.  We thank You for the blessings You have given us in the form of our children.  Father, continue to teach us more about Your love.  Help us to walk in the love You have for us, and helps us give that same love to those around us.  We acknowledge that our confidence comes from being secure in the immeasurable love You have for each of us. 

I still remember the Christmas when I received one of my favorite gifts ever as a child.

We had just finished opening presents and my brothers and sister and I were on clean up detail.  First, we set to work gathering all our treasures into individual piles. All discarded plastic packaging went into a giant black garbage bag, but all the gift bags, ribbons, and bows (sometimes even wrapping paper if it was in decent shape) was salvaged for use again the following year.  There were years when I would retrieve a gift from under the tree and spend the next several minutes trying to decipher whose it was. Usually, three or four different names had been written down in various ink colors and then crossed off.  My mom got a lot of mileage out of her gift bags. Oddly enough, I married into a family that does this same thing.

We were almost done cleaning when my dad nonchalantly mentioned that Santa brought one more gift for me and it was waiting in the basement. I bolted down the stairs to discover my very own kitchen play set, complete with a sink, microwave, refrigerator, and oven. To this day I can remember the excitement I felt realizing my parents had given me the perfect gift.

Countless hours were spent downstairs, pretending to whip up delicious food, wash the dishes, and stock the fridge after grocery shopping. In fact, that kitchen set moved outside for an entire summer the year my siblings and I acted out the Boxcar Children books. Those were the days when parents would shove their children out the door in the morning and expect them to entertain themselves. There was usually the opportunity for re-entry sometime around noon for lunch, and then again at supper time. But for the most part, we spent that summer entertaining ourselves and pretending to live in a boxcar. I have so many wonderful memories connected to that play kitchen.

That Christmas I was given a great gift.

One of the greatest things about a good gift is that it’s given willingly and nothing is expected in return. My parents knew I was going to love that play kitchen and they wanted to give it to me without any payment on my part. There was nothing that I had to do on my end other than to accept it. Their desire was to give me a good gift simply because they loved me.

God does the same, only better.

He extends gifts like salvation, patience, peace, joy, wisdom, and comfort. He gives remarkable gifts to us because of His great love for us. We need only accept them.

Today, may we remember that although earthly gifts are good and can even hold wonderful memories for us, there is nothing that comes close to the gift of Jesus.

A prayer: Thank you, God, that you extend Your gift of salvation to us with no strings attached. Thank you that we don’t have to wonder whether the gift is for us. Your gift of salvation is clearly marked for each of us. You desire to give us good gifts simply because You love us.  Thank you again for Your perfect gifts. Amen. 

Unto us. These two small words introduce us to God’s plan for mankind’s redemption story. Though they are small in length, they stand tall in meaning and shout wildly with joy, declaring the coming of our King. Unto you. Unto me. Unto us.

“For a child has been born – for us! the gift of a son – for us! Isaiah 9:6 (The Message)

A Wonderful Counselor for us.

A Mighty God for us.

An Everlasting Father for us.

 A Prince of Peace for us.

Every title, name, and promise, wrapped up in one tiny package and gently placed in a feeding trough. Our redemption waits for us in a manger.

Amidst a season of rushing and scrambling to find that perfect gift for a loved one, we are reminded again that the greatest gift anyone could ever possibly receive has already been given. The gift of our Savior in the form of a baby. Just like bringing home a newborn causes us to slow down, to take a break from our frantic pace and embrace the miracle of new life, this advent season also invites us to halt our hectic lives and take a moment to simply embrace Jesus.

Let the gift of who He is settle over you today. The Mighty God came for you. His plan included you because his heart is for you. Whether you’ve already accepted this gift or you’re just beginning to unwrap the depth of His love for you, salvation and rest are available to you today in Christ.

During this Advent season, we will be taking some time to look at the amazing promises that have been given unto us through Jesus. From His royal titles to His faithful promises, each of a prized possession passed down to us from a loving Father. Let’s prepare our hearts and wait on Him as we look forward with anticipation to the celebration of Christmas and the gift of God’s one and only Son, Jesus.

“For unto us a child is born; unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulders. These will be his royal titles: “Wonderful,” “Counselor,” “The Mighty God,” “The Everlasting Father,” “The Prince of Peace.” His ever expanding peaceful government will never end. He will rule with perfect fairness and justice from the throne of his father David. He will bring true justice and peace to all the nations of the world.  This is going to happen because the Lord of heaven’s armies has dedicated himself to do it!” Isaiah 9:6,7 (TLB) 

Mothering is something that God invites all of his daughters to participate in.

Mothering is a selfless act.  When we mother someone, we are giving them our protective care and kindness.  It involves looking after someone else’s needs, providing for them and lending support. Mothering is nurturing something in someone else.  It’s giving a piece of ourselves to someone else.  So while we may not all be mothers (noun) we are all called to participate in the act of mothering (noun, adj.).  

Mothering is done in nuclear families and mixed, with the neighbors across the street and with nieces and nephews.  Mothering can be done with co-workers, friends, even the children of our friends.  Mothering extends across social and economic boundaries, it crosses personal beliefs and distances.  It cuts through barriers and connects our hearts to another.

For a stay at home mom with young kids, it looks a lot like tending to the daily physical and emotional needs of their littles.  It’s the TLC they give when their child falls and scrapes a knee and the late night rocking back to sleep.  It’s a lack of time for yourself because you’ve given it to another.  It’s selfless and exhausting and holy.

Mothering my daughter, now 13, looks different than it did when she was little.  Instead of kisses and band aids, she needs me to listen to her, to pay attention to what is important to her.  She needs me to lead in example more than ever before, because she’s looking to me to see if I’m being authentic, to see if what I say and how I live, truly line up.  It’s intentional and hard at times. It’s also holy.

When we were youth pastors, and I was surrounded daily by amazing teenage girls, I found they craved acceptance.  They just wanted to know that they were loved and accepted for who they were.  They needed to hear, “You are enough, just as you are.”  I loved my girls and worked hard to be honest and real with them.  Over time, we built trust with one another and it gave me the unique position to be able to speak truth into their lives.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was mothering even then, long before we decided to have kids of our own.

Sometimes mothering involves calling something out in someone else.  Highlighting something special in their life that maybe they don’t have the vantage point or perspective to see yet. It can be something as simple as stating what they are good at, or what you see in them that you admire.  Sometimes, the Holy Spirit breathes on those simple words and it’s like the oxygen needed to fan the flames and bring a thing, a decision, a person, to life.

Mothering can sometimes feel mundane, but it is always holy.

If you look up synonyms for the word mothering, here’s a few of the words that will come up:  Cherish, care for, nurture, rear, nurse, tend, bring forth, produce, bear, inspire, reproduce, cure, heal, remedy…and the list goes on.  Nothing short of holy work.

Some of us are mothers, but all of us are doing the holy work of mothering. And today, (and every day) I honor you.

For those of you who are experiencing a loss this Mother’s Day, whether it’s grieving the loss of a child, the hope of one, or perhaps the expectation of what you thought motherhood would be like, I pray God would send someone to mother you during this difficult season.

Philippians 2:1-4 says this: “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility values others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others.”  Paul is basically saying here that if we have experienced the comfort and tenderness of God’s love for us, then we ought to follow His example and do the same.  We should pour into others this same love and tenderness that we have been shown.

We have been authorized and empowered to carry out this holy work.

The reason we can mother well, is because Jesus is our example.  We have experienced encouragement from Him, we have felt comfort from His love and we have felt His tender compassion towards us. He is our example in all things, even in mothering.

I pray today that you would experience his love and comfort in a personal way and that it would spur you on to share it with those around you.  Mothering is a hard and holy work, but you were made for it!

My daughter was a little over 2 years old the first time she knocked out her front tooth.  It was a beautiful Spring day and we were all playing outside.  She had meandered towards the neighbor’s driveway and was playing with a giant red ball, the kind you can buy at Walmart for like $2.88. She was chasing after it and decided to dive on top of it, hoping to land her squishy little belly onto the soft underbelly of the ball.  But she missed it, the ball kept rolling and she landed face first onto the concrete.

The second time she knocked out her (other) front tooth was when we were visiting grandma Broberg and she decided to quietly sneak into the kitchen, drag a chair over to the cupboard, and hoist herself onto the counter to snag herself a famously dubbed “grandma snack.” Well, she achieved her goal only to succumb to a faulty dismount that left her with one less tooth.

So when I learned last week that she had sustained a badminton racquet to the mouth from a kid in gym class and had chipped off a large portion of her front right tooth, although I shouldn’t have been too surprised, I was.  I figured she was done with tooth injuries but I guess I was wrong.

This time was a little harder for her. The other two times she had lost a tooth, she had been so young.  Before her hot tears were dry on her chubby little cheeks she was running around again, defying nature without a care in the world.  But this time she was an 11-year old girl, keenly aware of how she presents herself to the world.  A middle school tween, trying to figure out her place in this world.  And although she’s incredibly brave, she’s also still my little girl.  I knew in my heart that the question was coming.

But I was wrong, she never asked me anything.  Instead, she declared it. “Mom, I’m so ugly with my tooth like this.” It broke my heart to hear her say it, but I let it hang there in the air for a moment.  Although untrue, it was an expression of how she felt, and I always want her to feel safe in sharing her feelings with me.  “I don’t think that’s true,” I finally said.  I went on to explain to her how nothing about who she is had changed.  And it’s who she is that makes her beautiful.

Several nights later I was tucking her in bed, snuggled up next to her.  I was tickling her back when she said it again, “I just feel so stupid & ugly with my tooth half missing.”  As we talked a bit more about how she was feeling and about what makes a person truly beautiful, I realized again how easy it is to believe lies.  How without even realizing it, we can believe things about ourselves and even about others, that just aren’t true.

We believe the lie that we aren’t GOOD enough. We aren’t SMART enough. We aren’t PRETTY enough.  But enough for what? Enough for who?

She was believing the lie that because her tooth was chipped that it somehow made her less attractive which in turn made her less valuable as a person.  Which is completely untrue.  But I quickly realized, I still have faulty thinking myself.  There are times in my own life when I’m too busy to get a home cooked meal on the table, or my house is messy, or one of my kids does or says something unkind, and I believe the lie that says I’m a failure as a mom.  Sometimes when I haven’t been exercising or have been eating my feelings, I believe the lie that I’m not enough because I weigh more than I’d like.  I’m constantly battling the lie that says I’m not enough as a pastor’s wife because my personality and giftings don’t seem to line up with what many would expect.

But the only way to combat lies is to replace them with truth.

We believe lies all the time.  Because of _____, you’re not enough.  When the truth is we are always enough for God.

The truth is because of Jesus, we are FORGIVEN (1 John 1:9), FREE (John 8:32, 36) SAVED (Ephesians 2:8-9) LOVED (John 3:16) (Romans 5:8) STRONG (Isaiah 40:31) (Psalm 27:14) (Joshua 1:9) & VICTORIOUS (1 Corinthians 15:57) (1 John 5:4) (Romans 8:37).

As we talked, I felt like we were chipping away at the lies together.   Like each lie that was identified and brought into the light, His light, was like striking a chisel with a mallet.  Slowly chipping away at the thick layer of lies and revealing His beautiful truth.

Today, let’s exchange the lies of the Enemy for the truth of His word. Let’s believe with all of our hearts that we are made in His image and our identity is found solely in Him.  We do not find our identity in other people, in our successes or our failures, we don’t find it material things or in our physical appearance.  We refuse to believe the lies.  Instead, we exchange them for the truth of who God says we are.

If you have time today, listen to Lauren Daigle’s song, “You Say,” and allow the truth of who God says you are to change your faulty thinking. Let his truth replace the lies.  His word tells us that we are declared righteous through our faith in Jesus (Romans 5:1) and that He calls us by name and we are His. (Isaiah 43:1)

Eight years.

It’s been eight years to the day that my father-in-law passed away.  And the old cliche, “time heals all wounds” this many years out, seems both true and an awful lie all at once.

The sharp pang of loss, the kind that took our breath away for days, weeks, and even months after isn’t our daily companion anymore.  We have whole blocks of time where we don’t even think of him.  But it’s never truly gone either.  It’s in hiding now, jumping out and scaring us at will.  The realness of it sometimes settling in on us again like it did the very first time.  Because there will never be another ANYTHING with him.

I’ve heard it said before that comparison is the thief of joy.

I’m gonna steal a quote from “Pretty Woman” and say I think that comparison is also a slippery little sucker. (Insert image of an escargot flying across the dinner table.)