My heart is heavy. A friend is going through a great loss and it’s one that I’ve experienced myself before. Although it’s been 9 years since it happened, I find myself reliving that experience again. The day I learned that the baby I was carrying inside me no longer had life. The dreams and plans I had made for us as a family shriveling up and dying quicker than they had first arrived. Suddenly, and without warning, I was no longer a “mom.”  And the very core of my being felt hollow, lifeless like the baby inside me.

And so my heart is heavy right now for my friend. A friend who has just begun her journey of grief. Because I know there will probably be some moments of anger. Anger at God. Anger at those around her. Anger at the situation. There will probably also be moments when the hurt & pain seem so deep that she will literally ache for the child she never got to hold. There will be moments when she wonders why God would allow this to happen. Why someone who has loved and served Him and sacrificed for Him would have to endure something so heart wrenching.

But what she doesn’t know yet is that there will come a time, in her future, when the very remembrance of that life lost will stir up within her sweet memories of God’s amazing grace. That that there will come a time when remembering will be accompanied with it a deep, strong abiding sense of His faithfulness.

What she will discover is that God is not offended by our anger, our questions or even our indifference toward Him. He is not unable to handle our heartache. There is not a worry or fear too big for Him. What she will discover, as she continues to walk out her grief journey is that her ability to see God in a new way will be a direct result of her vantage point. That because of where she’s standing, she will see different facets of God’s character. And anytime we are guests to His hand at work in our lives our posture can be nothing but that of gratitude.

What I wish I could tell her, but I can’t, is that it’s going to be easy. Or quick. It will be neither of those. But the process and the journey, when she is on the other side looking back, will be the part that she holds dearest in heart. Because in that journey will come the sweet moments of God’s grace that will touch her soul like nothing else can. The journey will be marked by His loving kindness on display through individuals and situations that are uniquely orchestrated for her.

What I can tell her is that she can walk in the security and knowledge that God will go through it with her. What I can remind her of is His promise in Psalm 34:18.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The Message version says, “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”

And what a promise this is! For any and all of us today who find ourselves brokenhearted, God is right there. He is near to you. He is near to me. He will help us catch our breath.

So to my dear friend, I would tell you today to be honest and be real. Wrestle with it. Because you serve a God who desires, above all else, to have a personal and real relationship with you. Wrestling makes it personal.

And let his healing love cover you like a blanket…

“Quiet as warmth that comes from the sun, silent as dew during harvest.” (Isaiah 18:5)