Staring down at the cold hard granite, I slipped some sugar into my tea and began stirring. The tea was just a distraction. Something to take my mind off the fact that I had no idea what we were going to have for dinner that night. It’s 5:00 already!?!

The thought alone was enough to make me come undone.

I was a failure. Or at least that’s what I’d allowed myself to believe.

Visions of Pinterest boards danced in my head.  Facebook posts of gourmet dinners threatened my sanity.

The black marbled countertop looked back at me accusingly. “Remember when you first moved in here? Remember all the promises you made?”

And I had. I had told myself that my lack of desire to whip up a home cooked meal, every night for the rest of my darling little family’s lives was hinged to the fact that I hated my old kitchen. It was tiny, cramped, dark and ugly. Surely in my new kitchen, with its sparkling granite counter tops & built in pantry cheering me on, I would succeed in creating a culinary masterpiece for my people for the entirety of our days.

Once upon a time, happily ever after, the end.

But I was wrong. So wrong.

And now, standing here in the very place I vowed was going to bring me the fulfillment and the satisfaction I desired, I realized it hadn’t been enough.  This dream kitchen of mine that I thought would satisfy me wasn’t enough.  And somehow through a series of wrong turns and accusations I came to another conclusion: I wasn’t enough. I’m a failure as a mom.

Who says? 

The enemy would love for us to just accept every name he tossed our way. He’s got a long list of them. Liar. Insecure. Hypocrite. Unworthy. Failure. The list goes on and on. And he tosses them at us when we’re most vulnerable.

But that’s not who God says we are. That is not who we are. It’s not our name.

Instead, he calls us: Just. Secure. Authentic. Worthy. Loved. Forgiven. 

The God who spoke our world into being is the same God that lovingly leans in and whispers to us that we are His…THAT is who we are!

I haven’t been able to get the lyrics from the song “Good Good Father” out of my head lately.

“You’re a good good father. That’s who you are. That’s who you are. And I’m loved by you. It’s who I am. It’s who I am.”

Today let’s allow God to tell us who we are. Let’s ignore all the other voices. Whether they are lies the enemy is telling us, a person we trust or admire that isn’t seeing us the way God sees us, or just our own harassing doubts.  We are loved by God. It’s who we are.